I stand in front of people and talk. A lot. I have been the young adult pastor for almost 10 years now (!!!) and one thing, of many, I wish I knew back then was how much words matter. It would be foolish to believe the old saying “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” but it is perhaps even more foolish when we treat words as though they carry very little weight or impact. Words matter. I have been on both sides of this truth. I have offered up words that break down and benefited from a word that edified. I have spoken to others and seen the proverbial “light bulb” go off as they gain clarity on a pressing matter. I have spoken to others and seen the clouds of confusion settle in as I fumbled my words, misspoke, or talked out of turn. I have learned and am still learning that words truly matter.

I stand in front of people and talk. I use words to discuss things that matter most. I do not mind talking. It is a blessing (my career/ministry path would be rather difficult if I did mind) but it is also like walking a field filled with land mines. (Please, read that last sentence strictly as pure imagery as I have never actually walked a field filled with land mines.) Anyways, my willingness to use words and speak whenever an opportunity presents itself has cost me through the years. There have been jokes made, quick burns of sarcasm, critiques, and verbal darts all thrown about rather recklessly. I often wonder how I have maintained friends and relationships through the years in light of my reckless words. I would offer to you that I have improved considerably in my usage of words but I am far too familiar with the moments I have misused my words to pat myself on the back quite yet. Words matter.

I stand in front of people and talk. While many times the words seem to leave from behind my teeth and evaporate like a mist into the surrounding room, there are times when a word, a phrase, a thought lands properly in the ears of a listener. I see it. I can tell. A countenance changes. A disposition of boredom, routine, or politeness gives way to consideration and contemplation. What was the catalyst of such a change? Words. Thought out and properly delivered words. You have been there before when someone offered you a thought-out and well-delivered word, one of encouragement, adoration, or even correction and it grabbed you. You were different as a result of having heard the word or words. Your routine day felt rather mechanical but the provoking words of another changed your perspective drastically.

Eugene Peterson speaks to a similar moment in his life when he was traveling with a friend through what appeared to be the most forgotten in time town. Peterson said there were no gardens, no kids running thru the streets, and no life by any metric he observed. When they passed thru his friend turned to him and said “How many birds did you see today?” to which Peterson responded with a scoff. He had observed zero. The friend replied, “I counted nine.”. Peterson couldn’t believe it but his friend’s question wouldn’t leave his mind so he determined to drive thru the town again. This time though, he would look for the birds. On his next journey, he found the birds. Birds that he never noticed were there before. All because the words of a friend redirected his gaze.

I have been blessed to have many different men and women who helped “redirect my gaze”. Women and men who would allow a smart-mouthed know it all (that’s me) to run his mouth and then graciously offer a word of insight, wisdom, and/or correction. I remember one moment when I just knew I held all the answers to a problem and if everyone would just listen to me all the issues would be resolved a mentor spoke into my life by saying “unsought advice is seldom heeded and often resented”. I remember another mentor telling me in ministry that “You can lose your ministry but maintain your family. If you lose your family you have lost your ministry.” Then another who reminded me in the midst of christian service “we get to do this”. I have benefited immensley from the well thought out and properly delivered words of others. I am certain many of you have as well. Words matter.

So, my question for you, my question for me is how will we use our words today to redirect others’ gaze? Think of someone today who you could be intentional about redirecting their gaze. Your spouse may be going through the rotuine of worrying about dinner, tomorrows schedule, or your plans for the weekend. Tonight you can redirect their gaze in such a way they they walk away more confident in themselves and in your relationship, than they had been in a while. Your kids are used to hearing a word of correction following their name but tonight you can call them and tell them something you appreciate about them. A friend is surviving and wondering if anyone truly sees them. You do. Use your words to redirect their gaze and allow them to know they are seen.

I see family and friends that are hurting. I see others who are just going thru the motions. I see some who are working really hard to present one version of life when all hell is breaking loose behind the scenes. I see them because I am them. I have been them. In those seasons it was the words of others that guided me, redirected me, and saved me. I pray that when the day comes that people are sharing stories of me because I am nothing more than a story to share, that my words of encouragement, challenge, adoration will far surpass my witt, sarcasm, and sharp tongue. I pray that I am able to use the beauty of words for the glory of God and the good others. So, let us be resolved to redirect the gaze of others to see life, purpose, and beauty where they once thought it absent. Words matter. Use them accordingly.