Charity and I had the privilege of attending a wedding of some of our young adults from Westside this past weekend and on the way home, we created a game. I am certain no one in history has done this. We tried to guess the “Rotten Tomatoes” score of certain movies. Listen kids life gets crazy in your mid-30s. We decided to give my favorite movie a go, “Father of the Bride”. I guessed 100%. I was wrong and as disappointed in our nation as I have ever been.

“FotB” is my favorite for many different reasons but none greater than its display of a father’s love for his daughter. The way the dad navigates meeting her fiancé, Franc, and the corruption between the hot dog and hot dog bun manufacturers is inspiring. There is something powerful and inspiring about the selfless love of a father.

My favorite passage of scripture is a text known as “The Prodigal Son”. That heading always astounds me because it reads to me as much less about the foolishness of a son and more about the unending love of a father. When Christ paints the picture of a dad looking out over the horizon for a potential return of his son… man, it messes you up. It is a story of grace. A story of Christ pursuing us as we return from the wayward lands. A story about a dad who loves his son and wants the best for his son, no matter the cost. A “lovesick father“.

What is it that makes a “good” dad? I think about this often as I try to figure out the nature of this role myself. Is it making enough money for one’s family? Is it teaching your son how to throw a ball, change the oil (Sorry Rhett), and shoot a gun ( again, sorry Rhett)? I would say these few things I have learned by being a dad and watching other dads.

1) Love your kids the way that Christ loves His church. Serve your family. Give them what they need. You. Christ. Grace. Truth. Love your kids for who they are in the eyes of our Heavenly Father not for what they have done or haven’t done.

2) Be kind to them and yourself– You have never been a father to this kid at this season of life before. They have never been this age going through these things before. Let grace and kindness be evident to all parties involved.

3) Create Moments– Dads, if you let it life will go by really fast. Be intentional about creating moments with your kids. My kids ask me to play match games and UNO all the time and they do it on our living room floor! Sure, I am as flexible as a board but guess what, I get on the ground. Rhett asks me to play basketball or throw a baseball almost every day. Guess what, even if I am tired, I do everything possible to make it happen.

4) Enjoy the moments. Don’t just endure being a dad. Enjoy it. I ran into my high school baseball coach recently and in our conversation, he said “the days are long but the years are fast”. How accurate. Dad, enjoy the moments with your kids no matter their age. I am not pretending that every season of being a dad is easy or enjoyable BUT I am saying don’t be in a rush to move to the next moment at the expense of the current one.

5) Point them towards Christ. He loves them even more than you do and wants the best for them like you do. Do this in words and by example. Our kids are watching us, dads. They will love what we love, care what we care about, etc.

I am thankful I grew up in a home with a dad like this. A dad who not only pointed me towards Christ but demonstrated Christ. He has always been the first person for me to call in a time of need. Through the years he has become the first person I call when I have a question or need to bounce an idea off. My best friend.

I pray I am the type of dad for my kids that my father has been for me and my siblings. I go by many names, Ryan, husband, pastor, Mr. Sarcastic, etc. but few make me as humbled as being called “dad” by my crew.

I am thankful for all the amazing dads who have impacted my life. I am thankful for your influence and example in my story. Keep up the good work! And to all the moms who have stepped up in the face of an absent/disconnected father, keep crushing it. Your work does not go unseen or unappreciated. Happy Fathers Day everyone!